I'm Not a Photographer

I'm not a photographer, but I am sure enjoying my new toy. I don't even know how to use the thing, the manual is very thick and written in 12 languages, and I can't even wrap my mind about the photography terms. Here are a few that confuse me:

• White Balance: I thought this was a racial term, but apparently not.
• Aperture: I thought this was a slang/redneck way to say "I'm gonna take "a percture" with my new camera. I was wrong again.
• I-S-O: I is soooooo confused on this one!
• Exposure: As a southern woman, you want to avoid over exposure as much as you can. I guess with picture taking, over exposure is bad too.
• Focal Length: This just sounds dirty...but in the world of photography.....it's not.
• D-lighting: This is what my husband and I do to create the "mood"....oops that's mood lighting. What's the difference???
• There are words like optimization, illumination, saturation, compensation, and condensation. All this is too much information.
• Image sensitivity: I have never had a problem not being sensitive enough. I should be able to master that! I cry like 3 times per day!

Anyway, despite the language barrier, I am really enjoying my new camera. Here's a few samplings from my expertise photo taking. Who know's maybe I'll change the world with my photos......very doubtful about that....I'll just work on changing the shutter speed.

The "potty" shot is purely for "later-use" ie the "teenage years." Parent's always have to be one step ahead of their children and sometimes you have to resort to embarassment to keep the peace!